With the World Cup heating up to bite-worthy levels of intensity, its the perfect time for everyones favorite wise-ass pooch, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, to diffuse the situation with some crass soccer observations. On Tuesday nights episode ofConan, the beloved puppet (and his operator, comedy writer Robert Smigel) hit the streets of Queens, making fun of the sport and an array of fans from Colombia, Greece and Uruguay.
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Tens of thousands of Africans, Europeans and South Americans are converging in Brazil to create a flash mob of horrible BO, Triumph says to open the report. Thus begins his tirade on the slow-paced nature of the sport. The rest of the world calls it futbol,' he says. In America, we call it a fucking waste of time. . .You have to love soccer: the excitement of minimal contact, the thrill of low scoring. If you like watching porn in reverse, this sport is for you.
In the Astoria neighborhood, Triumph watches a game street-side with a handful of fans, taking another cheap shot at the sports style of play. As soon as the teams are done jogging and warming up, they are going to start the game, he says. Oh, wait Ive just been informed that this is the game and Ive actually been watching soccer for the past two hours.
And it wouldnt be a Triumph piece without some direct personal insults, so the cigar-smoking canine takes plenty of chances to (as he famously puts it) poop on international soccer fans. Throughout, he makes fun of the Ikea-styled look of the Uruguay flag (and leads a chant of Uruguay / Im a gay / Were all gay for Uruguay), tells plenty of yo mama jokes and tells one fan that soccer isa metaphor for (his) life: little or no goals.
Elsewhere, he sneaks in a few good humps on one gentlemans head and makes fun of several fans fashion choices(Did your barber tell you it was a good idea? Its a tragedy: Uruguay lost, and a 70-year-old man has a ponytail.).
Triumphs insulted just about everyone during his appearances on Conan OBriens various late night shows, but Smigels poop-obsessed puppet is getting a more consistent gig within the next few years. Back in May, Adult Swim greenlighted an as-yet-untitled, live-action sitcom starring the profane mutt oppositeformer30 Rockactor Jack McBrayer.