Brad Paisley aint the only Nashvillian whos having a bad week. The happy rays of spiritual sunshine that graced our favorite cast of country characters on last weeks Nashville were inevitably short-lived. Last night, we picked up pretty much where we left off: between the sheets with Juliette and Dante in a New York hotel room. The pairs post-coital pillow talk is interrupted by a knock on the door. Its Rayna. Shes gotta cancel the next nights show and tend to a family emergency.
And in related news: Lamar survived his heart attack (as predicted). I must be in pretty bad shape for you to miss a show, he tells Rayna at the hospital. I can see youre all full of piss and vinegar, so you must be feelin better, she counters. And shes right. Lamar totally looked death in the face and spit in it like it was a waiter fucking up his lobster order at the Palm. Lamar is a lion. Hospital gowns and EKGs be damned, the bed-ridden power player is barking orders, calling for the heads of his enemies and making moves to get his baseball stadium built.
Inside the Music of Nashville
Later, Lamar fed up with not being able to get a milkshake at a hospital he practically owns attempts to abscond. As RayRay, Tandy and the gang hold him back, he spots Watty White in the hall and has a total meltdown. Thats when Watty drops the bombshell of the night: He was the mystery paramour Raynas mom cuckolded Lamar with years ago.
The backstory: Mama Wyatt wasnt easy on the men in her life, and the night of the fatal car accident, her bags were packed. Four years later, Lamar kicks 16-year-old Rayna out of the house, and thats when Watty discovers her superstar potential, thus explaining Lamars resentment towards her career. The revelation brings father and daughter closer together in a touching bedside scene, after Lamar actually has another heart attack and almost dies, again, but doesnt.
Tandy is running Daddys affairs while he recovers, and wondering why multiple missed calls from Peggy pop up on his cell. Long story short, Tandy figures out Peggy leaked the divorce to the tabloids and tells Teddy. So, expect a second suicide attempt from Peggy next week.
Meanwhile, Raynas absence throws the Barnes camp into upheaval, or rather, throws Juliette into a tailspin of prima donna tyranny. Shes set to headline their last night in New York and, instead of doing the sensible thing booking an opener or cancelling the show, as Deacon suggests she decides to stay the course and extend her set by 10 songs. At soundcheck, shes drilling the band with the wrath of Buddy Rich on a bad night or Casey Kasem cold-reading a dogs death announcement. She and Deacon first get into it, and he calls her out and tells her how insane shes acting. To blow off some steam, she bounces to bone Dante on her tour bus.
Avery sees a one-of-kind, intimate Juliette Barnes show when he quietly walks in on the couple mid-fuck, but only Dante notices. Whats Avery doing there, you ask? Remember, as implied last week, he took a gig as Juliette Barnes roadie. Whats he doing on the singers bus? Getting hazed. As a do what youre told guy, a crew superior sent him on a scavenger hunt to find Juliettes in-ear monitors. Dante whos swiftly risen from the role of Jolenes sober companion to Juliettes consigliere unilaterally fires Avery. Call it sympathy for the devil, but I actually kind of felt sorry for Avery. That makes Dante Nashvilles latest love-to-hate villain.
Deacon, warmed up from his spat with Juliette, tracks Dante down and lambasts him for thinking he has the authority to fire Avery (who lives to see another day). I dont remember the part of the program where you screw around with your clients daughter, he says. Dante calls pot-kettle-black on Deacon and reminds him of his own Biblical history with Juliette. Backstage, after that nights show during which Deacon pointedly and passive-aggressively avoids eye contact with Juliette as the band performs
her brand-new country/bossa nova hybrid, Hangin On a Lie Jules and the Deke get into another knock-down-drag-out row. I dont need your boy-toy shrink knowing all my damn business! he snaps. Is it because youre not my go-to guy anymore? she snaps back.
Its not.
Hes Raynas go-to guy again. RayRay leaves him a rambling message, and he rushes back to Nashville to provide moral support I just heard something in your voice in that message. It just sounded like you needed me. Awww. Nice knowin ya, Stacey!
Jolene, on the other hand, is so super jealous that Dante isnt her go-to guy anymore, she tries to make out with him in Juliettes dressing room just as she walks in. So . . . Jules fires Dante as Jolenes sober companion, sends her back to Nashville where a new one awaits, and hires Dante as her manager. Terrible call, Juliette!
Heres all you need to know about last nights Gunnar/Scarlett arc: Scarlett closes her record deal and the couple celebrates with a full day dedicated to sleeping, screwing and drinking. Gunnar, numb, is haunted by his brothers death, and can only feel joy vicariously through Scarletts success. He hasnt written a song in weeks; she notices. She should probably go look up the words grief, depression and trauma in the dictionary, assuming shes heard of the dictionary, which is assuming a lot.
Later that night, Scarlett and Gunnar join their good ol boy beefcake neighbor Will for some honky-tonkin. After Scarlett passes out drunk, Will takes Gunnar out for a good time. Turns out Will is a crazy redneck and his idea of a good time is racing to dodge trains with his pickup truck. On the back roads, the pair narrowly escape death, but the experience reminds Gunnar hes alive. Its kind of like a Springsteen song. Gunnar starts writing again.
Last week: Love and Happiness